Judgment or Compassion?

I had a surreal and eye-opening experience about two weeks ago when I sat down for dinner in the dining hall at school. While I was waiting for my boyfriend to get his food, I sat back and people-watched as I often do (it's one of my favorite pasttimes =) ). But this time was a little different. I have no idea what sparked it, other than the pure mercy and grace of my God who is changing me daily into the image of Christ. As if He simply reached down and tore the scales off of my eyes, I began to see and admit to myself honestly what I thought about each person that walked by. "That girl is definitely stuck up." "She's a glutton." "Ugh, can't stand that guy. He's such a player." "Well, she's just too shy for her own good. Poor girl." "He thinks he's funny but he's definitely not." After about 5 minutes of freely admitting to myself what I honestly thought about each person I saw, I realized that probably around 70% of my opinions were negative. An observation my boyfriend had recently made to me rang in my ears: "Bitterness and judgmentalism are born out of self-righteousness. I see someone doing something I deem myself above doing, and I disdain them for it." That night, I was shocked to realize for the first time how close to home this truth really was.

I had a deja-vu moment in this area yesterday while studying the book "Love Walked Among Us" by Paul Miller. Chapter 3 drew attention to John 9, the story where Jesus and his disciples pass a blind man, and the disciples ask, "Who sinned that this man was born blind? He or his parents?" Jesus responds simply, "Neither. He was born this way so that the power of God may be demonstrated in his life." After I had read the chapter a few times, I was struck by one repetitive theme: Judgment and Compassion are incompatible. The disciples' presumptuous question kicks off the chapter with the first judging attitude. The theme continues when the Pharisees judge Jesus for preforming the miracle of the blind man's healing on the Sabbath. They jump to a quick and easy conclusion: "This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath" (v. 16). Their judgmentalism is also easily applied to the blind man and his parents, who obviously cannot be telling the truth when they say he was blind from birth (v. 18). His parents are too afraid to defend themselves because the Pharisees "already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the Synagogue" (v. 22). Besides, concerning Jesus, "We know this man is a sinner" (v. 24), they say. They refuse to listen to the blind man's words because they already know he is wrong (v. 27), and because they assume that he is a compromised witness, a disciple of Jesus (v. 28). Eventually, they throw the blind man out of their presence, labeling him with one sweeping conclusion: "You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!" (v. 34).

Jesus, on the other hand, blew me away with the depth of His compassion and understanding in the story. From his response to the disciples' question to the way He stoops and mixes his hands in mud made with saliva, He shows humility and a willingness to get Himself dirty with the affairs of the blind man. As Miller puts it, "Jesus lowers himself in order to care, while the disciples elevate themselves in order to judge." Even after the man's ordeal with the Pharisees, Jesus purposefully seeks him out to address his spiritual needs (v. 35). The blind man himself also stands in refreshing contrast to those who pretend to know it all when he repeatedly and humbly admits ignorance (vs. 12, 25, 36).

"If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains" (v. 41). As I read Jesus' conclusion of the whole matter, I was unable to deny on which side of the story I clearly stood. Suddenly, a flood of my own judgmentalism came careening through my mind and heart, including specific people I've failed to love over the last few months of my life. I began to ask myself, as Miller does, "[I'll] often notice things wrong with people, but does that initial look lead to compassion and helping, or to judging and distance? Compassion and judging are two different ways of 'seeing.'" Honestly, I felt - and still do feel - extremely overwhelmed by my answer, revealing this area of blindness I've had in my life. But I'm beginning to notice when judgmental thoughts come into my mind, I'm beginning to be bothered by them, and I'm beginning to beg for God's grace daily to purge me of this arrogant sin. God is beginning a great work in me.

I had another deja vu moment as I was driving in my car today and heard this song for the first time on the radio: "Jesus Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns. Please take a moment to listen. Really listen. Please take a leap with me and allow God to examine us and humble us in this area. "Judging separates and, thus, destroys community; compassion unites and creates community." ~ Miller

"Jesus Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns (Spotify)